Rejewvenate!

Yes, the newest Persian threat to all of Judaism came to New York and spoke at Columbia University. My rabbi actually spoke about it right before Mussaf on Yom Kippur, and urged the congregation to attend the rally at the UN.

I’m not a member of the Achmadinejad fan club, of course. I think that his statements about Holocaust denial are unacceptable, but they are far less extreme and offensive, in many ways, than the opinion, commonly held throughout the Muslim world, that 9/11 was a Zionist plot. After all, 9/11 happened only six years ago, and was perhaps the most-covered event in human history to date.

I’m not an expert on Iran, but it strikes me as obvious that Iran has not a single thing to gain from accepting the Holocaust narrative as it is told in the West. Moreover, whatever Antisemitism you may wish to impute to Iran, there is no question or doubt that it, almost alone among its neighbors, is accepting of the Jewish faithful within its borders. There aren’t any Jews in Saudi Arabia. Though some have cast Achmadinejad as Hitler II, or perhaps Haman II, Jews have lived peaceably in Iran for generations.

Not only does Iran have little to gain from accepting the Holocaust, and implicitly then, the modern basis for the State of Israel, Iran has no incentive for getting along with the US. Unlike Egypt or Jordan, Iran doesn’t need money. With Iraq gone, Iran has no significant conventional military threat facing it. With its long-range missiles, Iran has a fair deterrent power and relatively long arm, and while I do not have confirmation that Iran possesses chemical weapons, I find it hard to believe that it could not get its hands on them.

What can the US offer Iran other than cultural hegemony? Iran doesn’t want our Wal-Marts and our McDonalds, our Vogue magazine and our MTV. And they want recognition as one of the great empires and cultures of history. And of course, with nuclear-armed neighbors all around them, including Pakistan, India, Russia, and, of course, Israel, Iran’s wondering on what grounds it is to be fairly restrained from acquiring those weapons.

As many of us know, Achmadinejad is himself a figurehead, who stands in for the Ayatollah, who is the real power in Iran. And unlike Achashverosh or old, or Hitler, the Ayatollah is not motivated by an obsessive hatred of Jews. I think that we need to acknowledge that the Ayatollah has a love for Islam and for Persian identity. We need not paint Iran and its leaders in black and white. Iran is powerful, and potentially dangerous, but not necessarily so. Neither the US, nor Israel, nor the Jewish community, should paint themselves into an untenable corner. Iran is certainly funding terrorists and engaging in a sort of Cold-War conflict with the US and Israel, but let’s not forget that the threats Iran faces, whether from the US troops across its border, or the Israeli planes and missiles parked not very far away, are much greater than those it presents.

My wife opined a few months ago that the New York Times has a terrible habit of being about a year behind on major trends, be it in fashion, technology, color printing, or popular culture. While not quite so far behind this time, I did enjoy their article on the “kosher for Passover” gasoline story that I posted about in this space near Purim.

In This Town, Talk Turns to Putting the Volvos on a Kosher Diet - New York Times

I’ve just kashered my kitchen, but there’s always more to do! Chag Kasher V’Sameach.

Oh, by the way, I asked earlier about why we have this story about having no time to bake bread because we were in such a rush to leave Egypt when God clearly commands Moshe weeks earlier to prepare the Jews to bring the Korban Pesach, and to eat it with Matzah and Marror. So go look at the pesukim, and you’ll find that Moshe never passes the command to eat Matzah to the Jews. Interesting, no? It seems like Moshe sets it up so that the Jews will end up with Matzah. I don’t get it, but I plan to ask about it at my seder!

No, Purim hasn’t come again, and yes, I’ve already defended drinking on Purim once. But I was moved to comment on a post by Renegade Rebbetzin (and was unable to do so on her blog for technical reasons, so now you all get to see it here).

RenReb’s post is a little long and disjointed, so I’ll just snip out the relevant parts here:

I was recently asked if Orthodox Jews practice female genital mutilation. After they revived my limp form and lifted it off the floor, I had it explained to me that someone’s Jewish, but non-affiliated, relative was invited to a “Britah” to celebrate the birth of a daughter. After I finished vomiting, it was further explained to me that the non-affiliated relative essentially went insane and began telling everyone he encountered that his crazy Orthodox relatives were going to mutilate their baby girl. This was because the relative had heard of a “brit” and assumed that “britah” is the female equivalent. And what would the female equivalent be, again?

Exactly.

RenReb goes on to express her strong feelings regarding drinking on Purim:

Anyone who purposely and deliberately gets more than slightly drunk on Purim and thinks that this is even remotely ok is an idiot.

Anyone who is responsible for the welfare of children/teenagers and allows THEM to get drunk on Purim OR AT ANY OTHER TIME is a despicable, blind, brainless fool.

Anyone who is responsible for the welfare of children/teenagers and allows the children/teenagers to get drunk on Purim or at any other time and then allows the children/teenagers to run around unsupervised is an unfit parent/guardian, a menace to society, and a criminal, and should be arrested and should have the children/teenagers permanently removed from their supervision.

I don’t understand why people treat this as a topic for “discussion,” in the form of elegant prose about the true meaning of Purim, etc. There is no “discussion” to be had here. You don’t allow children to get drunk, period. You don’t allow teenagers to get drunk, period. And you don’t allow anyone, regardless of their age, to get drunk and then run around on their own. This is because people who are drunk are likely to not be capable of sound judgment and responsible behavior. As such, they might get hurt, or die, or cause someone else to get hurt or die. And this is not a good thing, causing people to get hurt or die. Agreed? Good.

It was the juxtaposition of these ideas that got me thinking. RenReb is horrified by female genital mutilation (FGM), but is entirely accepting of male circumcision. Let’s not have any misunderstanding here. FGM is not comparable to male circumcision in that FGM has awful long-term consequences, whereas circumcision appears to have mildly beneficial consequences (including providing some protection against AIDS!).

Back to RenReb. She’s anti-FGM, pro-circumcision, and anti-drinking. She couches her opposition to drinking in terms of the potential consequences - the harm that could befall the drinker. But if the problems are the consequences, why do we circumcise our children? Surely, circumcision causes great harm and pain to an innocent baby, literally leaving him scarred for life! This is precisely the sort of consequence that RenReb fears will befall the drinker, and the reason why she opposes drinking. And let’s not be naive - unfortunately, some babies do not have smooth recoveries, and tragedy has struck, incomprehensibly, those families who adhere to this sacred rite.

Judaism demands faith in God in a very practical sense. That means trusting in God’s protection when we do mitzvot, even as we acknowledge that God sometimes makes other calculations. We do our best to limit our exposure, by delaying a sickly infant’s circumcision, for example, but we do not abandon practices and abrogate mitzvot because the potential for harm exists. I appreciate RenReb’s desire to keep children (and adults) from the harmful consequences of indiscriminate drinking, but I advocate for responsibility over abstinence, and for faith over fear.

Lots of j-bloggers are taking on the issue of drinking on Purim. Looks like most (but not all) of them are heartily opposed to getting drunk.

In the the Gemara (Megillah 7b), Rava says that a person has an obligation to drink until he can’t distinguish between arur Haman and baruch Mordechai. This formulation is cited by the Rosh, Tur, and Shulchan Aruch. The Rambam modifies it slightly, indicating that a person should drink until he becomes drunk and falls asleep from drunkeness (Laws of Megillah 2:15). It’s not clear to me whether the Rambam is being lenient or stringent relative to the quantity one must drink.

Many later commentators and poskim ‘clarify’ the matter to largely limit your drinking responsibilities. This is not the place to comment on the role of external values in determining halacha (not for me anyway, but feel free to use the comments section as you wish - Ha-comments ka-dat, ein ones), nor do I want to get into a denomination-bashing flame-war with anyone.

All I want to say is this. 99% of the troubles with drinking stem from unsupervised drinking among teenagers. Yes, there are exceptions, but there will always be exceptions, and I don’t think it is reasonable or appropriate to take extreme measures in a doomed effort to solve everyone’s problems (it’s that tail-end of a normal distribution, rearing its ugly head, er, tail, again). The ‘problem’ of alcohol on Purim is not a problem of alcohol, but of lack of supervision over young drinkers.

Parents, Yeshivot, friends, and neighbors, take note! Be present. Make sure that people with medical training are present. Keep plenty of bottled water around, and distribute it freely. Make it clear to teens that they will be held responsible for the consequences of their actions. Confiscate car keys and arrange for designated drivers. Put away power saws and other heavy equipment. Carve out a communal space for those who need to decompress and sober up for a while. Make contact with local law enforcement and reach appropriate arrangements with them. The way I see it is you have to love the mitzvah enough not only to do it right (and my apologies to the various poskim, but having a shot and taking a nap ain’t doing it right!) but to prepare for it right also!

The goal is to be drunk safely. It’s an achievable goal. It’s a religious goal. It’s my goal, and I hope you’ll all join me. Have a drink, it’s Purim!